Cows

I used to play with the baby cows..calves?..when I, and they, were young. One time, I some-how included that phrase, or self-declaration, into an answer during an interview.

I ended up getting that job, fyi.

Two years later, I find myself dreading the thought of leaving it behind in the near future. Now, if you were to have asked or talked with me about three to four weeks ago, I'd have been singing a whole different tune.

Like all of our (yours) jobs, mine too, is stressful. That is putting it in the simplest of terms. Not only do I work on part of a multi-professional team (happy hour tends to be needed hourly), I work with children who are, have been, or will be diagnosed with developmental disabilities. Primarily, these children are diagnosed with Autism.

I know the formal basics of what Autism is, but like the rest of the professional mental health arena, I cannot answer how or why.

What I do know, is that usually for one to two seconds during a one hour meeting with a client, I am able to be part of their world. And that world, is so safe. And it just so happened today, when I was able to walk through that door, I was playing with cow puppets.

I really could not stop the tears, but I did try to stop the snort (this lovely trait, flows from the maternal side of my genetic lining...). And when the kids mom asked why, and if I was OK, all I could muster up was a nod of my pony-tail.

It's one thing when you can teach your kid how to drive a car. If you get that far, I think you should be counting your lucky stars. My kids, because yes, I have adopted them all in my heart, probably will never get to that point. So when I can teach them that a puppet of a cow says "moo moo moo" and does like to sing "footloose" (dancing cows, kids, and Jayme fell in love with Kevin Bacon all over again..), I feel that I should bless those beautiful stars.

And I did.

And I will continue to do so, for as long as I am able to do just that.

To all those that I have met, and will meet, I can honestly say that I do not know who I would be today, if I had not been introduced to your world. And for that, I thank you.

engagement and the pacific northwest

my, my, my...looks like we've found ourselves together again. nice to see you.

marc and i have been in the blue monster for over two thousand miles...in the past seven days. just yesterday, we lost a hubcap somewhere in eastern oregon. along this trek from seattle, to salt lake city, i asked marc a question..........

"how long had you been thinking you wanted to marry me, before you proposed?" point zero one second of silence...

"oh, i don't know...how long had you been bothering me about it?"

ah. true love. five years in the making, right there.

marc and i plan on cementing our love this fall on the shores of lake superior. the past seven days, i've had many..many..many hours to reflect on love....especially, the acts we do for love. and i suppose, honestly, the only true conclusion that i've been able to settle with, is this...if you think too hard about "those acts we do for love", you can lose sight of the very reason you did it in the first place.

so, why did i agree to a multiple thousand mile journey in a blue mercury villager, listening to dead prez and bob marley, eating at a cracker barrel (YUCK), discussing endlessly religion, obesity, and the construction of the national parks?

it's the same reason i was fighting with him five minutes before he got down on one knee, on valentine's day of all the days, out in the middle of forrest, shivering, complaining that i was cold, the snow was icy, and no marc, i am not going to cross country ski across a frozen lake...because, it was and still is, and mother earth save me, will most definetly always be, him.